The hardest thing in my life right now is juggling all of the different responsibilities I have and to also have a second or two to myself once in awhile. I can’t imagine how people with kids balance it all! I have a fiance and a ferret and I still feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it will all get a little easier once the wedding is over. Weddings are so expensive. We thought we could worm our way out of some expenses but even with the bare minimum the wedding is costing several thousand dollars. The big day is 2 months away (almost to the day) so most of my paychecks are going to last minute, overlooked details.
Then there’s my job. I started my first teaching job in January. It feels like a routine now, and I really like that but teaching is a hard profession. You never work 40 hours a week. I usually get there about an hour early everyday (at 6:40am) so that I don’t have to stay super later. I like to cook so I try to get home early enough that I can cook dinner for Ricardo for when he gets off work that night.
I’ve also been trying to squeeze in workouts every chance I get after school on days that I don’t have tutoring or level meetings. I’ve been going pretty consistently the past week. I even went to the gym twice last Saturday! It’s crunch time with the wedding right around the corner. I love how the weather is finally warming up so Ricardo and I can go run together when he’s off. To help with my diet I’ve been keeping track of what I eat on MyFitnessPal. I hope it helps. I would like to lose around 10 lbs before the wedding. Especially since we’re going to California for the honeymoon! I’ll have to put on a bathing suit eventually.
I’ve had some unexpected stuff come up within the past week and a half as well. My car keeps jerking when I drive and none of the shops we’ve taken it to know what it is! They told me to “google it”. -_______- Are you kidding!? Isn’t that your job? Even if I did figure out what it was on my own it’s not like I’m amazing at handling anything having to do with cars. I can change a tire…. with help. That’s as far as my expertise goes.
My grandmother was also diagnosed with three different type of cancer last week. I think the stress of that has been the worst part. I’ve lost great grandparents and great uncles in my life but it was never so close, like a parent or a grandparent. It freaked me out when I found out. I never thought about it happening to them. I thought they would always be around. And it’s probably selfish of me but I keep fixating on my wedding and what if they can’t be there? I wouldn’t be mad but I would definitely be bummed and wish that they could. She had surgery at the end of last week and she’s supposed to go home later today. She can’t start chemo for a month until she heals from the surgery completely. Chemo… hearing that she had to have chemo made it sink it. I’ve only ever heard about chemo in movies and tv shows. I haven’t actually had anyone close to me go through that. I really hope she’s going to be okay. And I wish more than anything I could just take away how scared she’s probably feeling. She’s a tough woman and would never let you know she’s scared but how could you not be after news like that? My dads a wreck too. He’s always been a momma’s boy and I think he’s taking it harder than anyone.
In a way, I guess all of the distractions from work, going to the gym, and the wedding have helped keep me from having breakdowns over and over. It’s keeping my mind busy. I really can’t wait to have a whole paycheck to do with as I please though! If I have to buy one more cake topper, sign in books, garter, or anything to do with catering I’m going to scream! Why can’t we just have a bbq and call it a day! I keep reminding myself to breathe. Just breathe. One thing at a time. And sometimes that’s the hardest part… figuring out which thing should be taken care of first.