My Worst Nightmare

After college, Ricardo and I moved back to Dallas from Austin. It was terrifying to say the least. He had been in Maryland since he was 15 and we had finally made a life together in Austin. Going back home to Dallas meant going back to the place where it all started. Which was good in some ways but also a little bitter sweet. I mean can you ever actually go back home after being gone for years? I had been gone since I was 17. I moved to Tyler first for college, hated it, and then transferred to Texas State in San Marcos my sophomore year of college.

It was like starting over in a new-old place. And let me tell you… it was rough going there for awhile. We moved back in August after I finished my last classes at Texas State and had graduated. Finding a job in Austin is really competitive. Crazy competitive. You can apply to restaurants and the people working there have Master’s degrees but are waiting to find a job somewhere. I didn’t even want to try that. For one I had just graduated with and English degree… and let’s be for real, what the hell are you going to do with an English degree without some sort of education certification? Probably nothing.

But I was offered a job at family friends speech therapy clinic in Dallas and jumped at the opportunity. It paid a lot more than the minimum wage frozen yogurt bar I was working at in Austin! I was so excited to have my first big girl job. Unfortunately it was in insurance and I had no experience with medical insurance which made the job difficult. And if you’ve ever had a job where you did not feel at all confident or comfortable with the work then you understand. It was also the first 8am-6pm job I had ever had. It was really hard. I cried everyday. My superiors were getting frustrated with me for sucking, I was frustrated, and working at a computer all day is not the type of work I am meant for. I became very depressed and quit within a few months.

After that I worked some minimum wage jobs but they never lasted long. I had decided to go back to school and get my alternative teaching certification. Once I did some observation hours I knew it was the career for me. I loved the hours, the kids, and the atmosphere. I felt like I was doing something that I was good at.

The only thing that deterred me for awhile was my student teaching. My mentor was awful. An awfully mean person. She was not kind to anyone she worked with and I had to be in a classroom with her for 5 months. I made it though! And I landed the job of my dreams as a 2nd grade teacher. It was in the middle of the year due to an influx of students attending. I was thrown right in and it was a great learning experience.

Sadly though, my principal pulled me in the office the other day with the other long term sub they hired and told us that they didn’t have the numbers to keeps us next year. It was my worst nightmare. I love my job! I love my team, my students, the location, everything! I feel like I’ve built good relationships there and it kills me that I have to start looking for another job. I am so scared that I will be put in a sucky situation like I was the whole first year of us moving back to Dallas. I was finally so happy to find a place I felt like I belonged and felt proud of the work I was doing.

But here I am, writing cover letters, and updating my resume and praying for an interview so that I have a job for next year. I started off thinking I wanted to teach 4-8 grade but now I’m in love with 2nd grade. I just hope that I can find another good fit. I thought everything was finally falling into place. Ricardo and I got engaged, our wedding is next month, our honeymoon is in June, I love my job, I’ve met great friends there, and we are scheduled to move to a bigger place in July. And then BAM! 😦

I keep trying to stay positive. You know, the whole “everything happens for a reason” philosophy? Maybe this job was just a stepping stone. I hope that’s true. It just makes me sad that I may not see my students after this 😦 I’ll probably cry the last day. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I find another job soon!

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3 thoughts on “My Worst Nightmare

  1. That’s such a sad thing to read. I’m sorry, Destinee. That is an awful thing to go through. I wrote an entire post on this and that we could literally blink and realize nothing is permanent. You’re a great teacher and you’ve made it through much more. I feel like you’re going to do great things. Keep your head up. You’ll be the best teacher in another place.

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